Did you ever stop to think that your disapproval of how he is running his life and his marriage has anything to do with how is separating himself from you and your mother? I’m actually I’m pretty sure you blame it all on his wife, like she has him in some kind of spell, and he isn’t really responsible for any of this. He’s going to pick up on this, and he loves his wife so you are forcing him to choose between his wife, and his family.
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Or you can reject his wife and marriage, and all these decisions he is making, and you can continue to attempt to shame him into doing what you think is important. Unfortunately, if you and your mom remain only a source of pain he’s going to just go further away. A couple of years ago, I was enjoying my colorful days of Engineering in the pink city of India. Degree of engineering is the second best thing I earned after my college days.
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I didn’t know how to console him. There was a plethora of questions in my mind. Should I hug him like sad actors of Bollywood movies ? What should I say to solace him? How could I cheer up a guy who just lost his dearest father?
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It was my little brother sitting beside me and my pen pal having a good dinner at my place. Mom was sitting on a chair nearby watching TV. I was talking to my friend about Sherlock; i hope people who have watched it understand me. And the conversation went as follows.
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When I first got into memory techniques in the early 90s I thought they were just a bunch of tricks. I even created a game show that went out to 8 million people on the BBC and ended up becoming one of the world’s first Grand Masters of Memory in the 95 world memory championships. It wasn’t until after this when I started working with real people, rather than contestants.
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Memory is a complicated thing. People with impressive degrees from highly regarded universities are still trying to understand how it works. They’ve made some headway, but mysteries remain. I’m not one of those experts, though my dad, a retired neurophysiologist, is. He suggested an article in Science Daily he’d read a couple of years ago that covered recent research regarding memory and the brain.
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For myself, music has always been vitally important. I’ve worked in the music business. I’m an amateur musician and I’m a huge fan of music covering multiple genres. Music and memory kind of have to be closely linked for someone like me. As to the exact nature of that link, well, again, it’s complicated.
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I’m a Chicago blues style harmonica player. I’ve made money at it, but never a living, so I would characterize myself as a somewhat skilled amateur. I can impress people with my playing, I’ve done it many times, but I play by ear. If a musician I’m playing with were to ask me to end a solo on B flat minor instead of B flat I’d just stare at them and shrug. I can’t do that. I don’t know what notes I’m playing while I’m playing them. That said, I can play a song from memory.
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I have a little repertoire of songs I can play solo and I’ve worked up tunes with other musicians. In working with others I’ve been given a part to play in a song and I can do it with reasonable consistency. In that case I’d say the music follows my memory. Then there’s situations where I sit in with some musicians who have some blues stuff they cover and I’m expected to supply some backing to the chord progressions and at some point provide a solo. I can do this without even having practiced with the band before. This is because I’ve studied blues progressions in depth and stolen riffs from all my favorite harmonica players. So I just improvise and it usually works. In such instances I suppose you could say my memory follows the music.
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Intelligence does not dampen responses. We can still respond just fine in situations needing simple reaction, because a great many reactions are never processed by higher-order systems. Some reflexes are mediated by the spinal cord and never get relayed to the brain until after motion has already been initiated.
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