On the more benign side, I often go through answers I know will leave me in Snoopy The Demogorgon Stranger Things shirt. Stories of parents losing their children. Even a single mention of a lost parent, particularly a mother. I avoid the stories that make me angry I just focus on the sad. On the more malignant side- sometimes, if I’m really bad, I get nasty with friends. I deny myself opportunities. I’m needlessly rude. I’m upset by this, but I do it anyways and distancing myself just makes me frustrated, even though I need to. So, to answer your question, most of the time it’s not deliberate. And, I hate to say this but it’s probably more of a happy accident.
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